Does she know?

I'm in the all life-sucking and consuming nursing program at BYU and am currently doing my clinicals at the Huntsman Cancer center in Salt Lake. As a side note, I highly recommend this facility for anyone who is dealing with cancer. It is amazing and literally like a 4-star hotel. This last Thursday during my clinical, I was taking care of a post-op pancreatic cancer patient. Pacnreatic cancer is one of the worst in terms of survival rate because the cancer spreads like fire. People generally live 3-6 months and can pass on in as soon as one month after diagnosis.
This lady I was caring for was so happy, sweet, well put together and relatively young. Her little granddaughter came to visit her and quietly came over to me and informed me that she wanted to be her grandmother's nurse cuz she loved her so much. I smiled and put my stethoscope around her neck and told her she was going to need this and I knew she would be the very best nurse ever. This woman was doing everything that we urge patients to do post-op and was excelling in them. One of these things is walking and she was going so fast that I was joking with her about how she should try out for the olympics and that she was showing all the other residents up. And all of a sudden it hit me like a punch to the gut...
This lady had very serious cancer and was going to die soon; not if, but when. It was very hard for me to grasp because my mind told me differently. She looked like she was getting better, she had a family that loved her, she was young, she was doing awesome, and people have surgery to get better. Here I was joking and bonding with her and in a few short months she would pass away. And she did not physically look like she was dying, so she would have had to research pancreatic cancer to really understand that her time was short. Because the fact that she was going to die hit me with such an epiphany and because she looked healthy, all I could wonder was "does she know?" I felt like I was going to collapse and had to sit down to catch my breathe. It was a very thought-provoking few minutes for me.
It made me think of my life and wonder if I live it to the fullest. It made me think of the Savior and his love for his people and how lucky we are to have the gospel in our lives and know this is not the end. It made me want to give this woman the very best care I could and take her in my arms and hold her and cry with her. I realized I could never be an oncology nurse